writings_&_

pastor as mystic

by dwight friesen

Within recent weeks I have gained greater clarity regarding who I am.  Here’s my story.
 

I grew up in a stable family with strong moral values.   Add to that the conservative evangelical church of my youth and I was tooled with clear definitions of right and wrong.  This can be a very good thing.  However, I now see how I had bought into the subtle distortion that said I was a “good follower of Christ when I separated myself from culture by avoiding a certain list of activities while engaging in another list.  The subtlety I bought into was that those activities defined me as a Christian.  (Don’t get me wrong.  Theologically I understood that I could not “do” anything to get in God’s good books, but that I needed to acknowledge my need to have Christ’s spilled blood pay for my sin).  I felt I was a strong Christian if I didn’t listen to “secular” music, drink alcohol, smoke, or go to parties or dances thrown by people who held different world views than myself.  

During my Chicago years the shades were lifted from my eyes and I encountered the grace of God.  I began to see God’s grace was a reality I could live in, that I was safest and most secure when I focused the attentions of my heart on my Father’s love.  Until that time I usually thought of grace in reference to the forgiveness I first received when I accepted Jesus as my God.  As a result of my fresh encounter with my Loving Father, I began to see other people through His eyes – as people of great worth, deeply loved and needing an opportunity to be introduced to Him without the cultural baggage often associated with Church.  So over the last few years I’ve had an increased liberty in my heart to engage culture, participate in the arts, party, go to the bar with my co-workers and so on.  

About six months ago I began to experience a crisis of sorts: How do I know that I am a follower of Christ?  Since I was no longer defining my relationship based on the activities which I did or did not engage in, I wasn’t sure how to describe my relationship with God.  So I reviewed the Bible passages which spoke specifically about following Christ, and assurance of who I am in Christ.  But the truth of the proposition was not translating in a relief from the tension I was feeling.  Through sharing my struggle and an extended break, God said to me, “
Dwight you are my child and nothing will change that.  You are mine and I am yours.”  In the words of Paul spoken through a friend, God’s Spirit was testifying with my spirit that I was His deeply loved Child.  

This experience has left me with a profound desire to know and experience more of God.  It has created a strong conviction that I must regularly separate myself from culture.  However, not as I did early on in my faith experience, but to physically withdraw from culture and take extended times of solitude to meet God without the distractions which often beg for my attention.  It has made me want to focus on the process of encountering God for myself and those around me.  

I mentioned at the beginning of this article that I’m experiencing a renewed sense of what my role is as the pastor of Quest.  I am starting to see that I need to be more of a Christian Mystic than the CEO of Quest.  I an more the keeper of the vision of God than a general barking orders.   

Pastor as mystic.  

Exploring and reveling in the mystery of God.  To know Him and His grand narrative so deeply that I come to rest in my place in His redemptive story, and can guide others to finding their place in His metanarrative or big story.  

This has been a life giving, eye opening experience for me.